Buckies
by Dan Rush
Summary: Buckies is a place akin to a Denny's or a Shonie's. Some of the officers of the Zootopia Police Department meet weekly at dinner time to shoot the breeze.
1. Chapter 1

**ZOOTOPIA**

 **buckies**

A tame fan fiction by Dan 1966

(c) Zootopia 2016 by Disney Animation Studios

Forewords: A weekly tradition in the ZPD where some officers gather at a Denny's style restaurant called "Buckies" for dinner, chatter and comradely.

 **Mid-Afternoon**

" **The gun house" ZPD combat training building**

 **top of Precinct 1 Headquarters, Downtown Zootopia**

"Boom!" "Boom!" "Shots to the chest and the left shoulder!"

Run ten yards…..vault a short wall…..roll behind a trash can.

"Boom!" "Head shot!"

Sound from behind the back. Tuck and roll, rise to a knee…..

"Boom!" "Boom!" "Boom!" "Triple tap…."Head shot. Chest shot. Chest shot!"

Scale the staircase…...pop the magazine…..slap up a magazine….rack the slide.

"Boom!" "Head shot!"

At a door...bounce the wall!…..bounce the wall!….Break the lock, force the door!

"Boom!" "Boom!" "Boom!" "Head shot!" "Head shot!" "Head shot!"

"Hostage…..DROP THE WEAPON! YOU HAVE NO WHERE TO GO! DROP THE WEAPON NOW!"

"Boom!" "Boom!" "Double tap to the head!"

"OUT!" Judy screamed as she hit the release button and dropped her magazine to the floor with her hands up.

"BREEEEEEEEEP!" The range alarm sounded the all clear as Judy flopped onto the floor of the second story combat house…

"Lieutenant Hopps? Your combat score was perfect. Aiming score perfect. Target dissemination perfect. Range completion time? Eeeeh….still a little sucky."

"Bite me Nicholas Wilde." Judy Hopps said as she stood up and walked over to a window where she could see the range tower. Nick stood waving to her as the range officer took the microphone from him…

"Actually Lieutenant...Officer Wilde didn't exaggerate. You are still running slow on range completion time. If you have to handle an ambush from behind, it means you're taking too long to deliberate your next move." Judy's old academy instructor said as she wrote on her clip board. "You gotta be faster there girl if you intend to show up the other precincts at the Sports Day competition meet next week."

Judy gathered her magazines and came out of the combat house as Nick came walking up. "One thing she noticed is your pauses between moves Carrots? She says you take way too long to plan things out. You also never once made a call to have back up which she says most of the competition next week will certainly take advantage of."

As they walked together...Judy looked at the rifle slung over Nick's shoulder. "How are you doing on the rifle range?"

"Without a scope? I bomb at 50 yards. I can't hit a shed to save my bushy tushy. Out of 15 targets, I managed….five hits. Only one of the five was a fatal strike." Nick said as he un-slung the long gun. "I think this weapon may be broken."

Judy took the long gun, gave it a shake and handed it back to Nick. "Nah...it's fine. I think you're not accustomed to traditional sight picturing. Front sight…. Rear sight….come on Nick, basic police training."

"Most long shots are handled by the police sniper team Carrots besides...look at these paws? Clumsy fox fingers."

"Look at these paws? Fat bunny fingers." Judy snickered. "Stop with the emo excuses?"

Nick followed Judy into the locker room. "The rest of you is not fat."

Judy turned around and thumped her foot. "Now? How should I take that?"

"As a compliment of endearment by your devoted partner." Nick said smiling. "What time should I pick you up tonight?"

"Seven….but I was going to ask if you wanted to come back to my place till then? Sit down to some coffee and relax a little." Judy said with a look of hopeful delight.

"Actually? I want to go see Fennick about detailing my new car so it looks more like a "car" and less like a "dump truck".

Judy cocked her head. "You could have gotten more than a hand me down match box sport?"

"I was raised to be practical and use perfectly good things instead of contributing to the dump outside the city." Nick said as he slipped behind a wall and started to get undressed…

"Nick?" Judy said as she peaked around the corner.

"Carrots? Do you mind?" Nick said as he quickly pulled his pants up.

"Oh for sakes." Judy snorted. "We go to the Mystic Springs for massage therapy and here you're a prune?"

"Professional attitude at all times here Judy." Nick said as he waved a hand. By the time he slipped into the shower stall...he was absolutely miserable. He flopped against the wall and sighed….

"Judy?!" Nick yelped.

"What's up?" Judy answered on the other side.

"Ummm…..." Nick needed to think hard. "I might be over your place for a couple of hours before seven. I don't think I need long with Fennick ok?"

"Sure!" Judy replied buoyantly. "Gives me time to fresh things up."

Judy was long gone by the time Nick came out to get dressed, much due to the vanity common to all foxdem..."tailphilia" (love of one's bushy plume) consumed more time and money than food. It took Nick just another hour of obsessive brushing and combing to feel satisfied that his first love had attained her proper beauty.

Walking out of the station he was the visual air of confidence...the upraised head with the confident smile, that "joviant fox trot jot" of his as he walked and swayed like some sort of bad ass movie actor but inside he was an emotional wreck and none of his talents for "foxy foolishness", while they might do well with Bulls, Lions, Cheetah and monkeys, were going to mask the angst when it came to another fox….certainly not with Fennick. Nick had already said a lot to the small big eared white fox when he first pulled into his garage…

"What is wrong with yo ass?" Fennick asked as he sat in the driver's seat while Nick sat in a chair trying to open a can of juice.

"What?" Nick replied. "Wrong? Nothing…..nothing's wrong….nothing at all, life is bliss."

Fennick cocked his head. "Man...if you'd be a volcano right now? Everyone would be dead from all the smoke blowing from your tail hole. Out with it Nick? Stop messing up the sand box."

"You are so perceptive Fennick." Nick said with his casual smirk.

"You're making it intolerable in here." Fennick snapped. "I have to climb up on the car to evade the stink." The small fox did just that...climb upon the car roof and wagged his paw finger. "Jibber the jabber jaws Nick. What's shakin your insides and let me just wild guess it? Uhhhh…..Judy."

"Uhhhh…...yeeeeeah." Nick replied as he moaped. "Her."

"You haven't talked to her yet?" Fennick asked.

"No." Nick replied. "I don't know what to say."

Fennick pursed his lips. "You...the king Fox of good gab...don't know what to say? How about the truth?"

Nick threw his hands around. "Oh?…..the truth…..yeah…..I'm sorry Judy, I can't really love you because you know…..fox…..bunny….differences….you know? Um…..hope you understand…..crash and felt burn."

Nick got out of the chair, turned around, kicked a spent STP oil can across the garage and cursed in a low growling sound. "I haven't even reached out to my mother because I know what she'll say..."Good for you son. You're doing the right thing, A fox and a bunny can't. It would have been a disaster." Well it's already a damn disaster!"

Nick slipped down to sit on the floor and rested his head in his crossed arms. "Every time I dodge her, I feel she's disappointed...like it's all her fault and I'm just not attracted to her. But if I tell her the truth of why I don't want things to get crazy serious between us...I fear her telling me to kiss off."

Nick sobbed a little before he felt the gentle stroke of Fennick's tongue kissing him over his cheek…."Cut it out Fen Fen?"

"Right now baby….you need a little foxy snug snug to give you a perk up and put perspective back in proper frame….dig? So shut the snoot." Fennick said as he snuggled his head under Nick's chin. There was nothing "same sex" about the whole act between foxes. Mutual soothing, petting and snuggling took everything back to basic simplicity. The warm snuggling and love of a whelp box and multiple siblings which made the world wonderful and right….which Nick, being an only child, didn't get to experience himself. Soon the English Red was holding Fennick like a teddy bear and snuggling on him as if life meant it.

"Feeling better?" Fennick asked.

"Chippy." Nick replied as he put Fennick down. "Thanks Fen Fen."

"Now…." Fennick said with a waving paw finger. "You stop being a wuss and "fox up". Tell that bunny the truth of how you feel with that special "Nick-ery" you're good at. Only do it when you standing off the floor to avoid the water tsunami. And hey? No one said you couldn't do "other things" to make a relationship work out. If I was you? I wouldn't drop her either. Fox or no fox? She is a damn fine catch of a fish!"

Nick smiled again and rubbed Fennick's head…."Thanks Fen Fen...You're the best friend I ever had."

"Sheep nuts….don't you cry on my floor. I swear I will beat your face in if you start "woosing and pussin" in my crib." Fennick said as he turned around to look at Nick's car. "Tsk tsk….you could have bought more than a match box."

"Interesting…." Nick replied. "Someone mentioned that all ready."

 **An hour later**

 **5pm**

 **Judy Hopp's Apartment**

" **The crying bungle in Arms Apartments" Baobab Blvd**

The knots were starting again as Nick stood with his hand balled before Judy's apartment door…."Courage….courage…..courage…..(deep breath) (long exhale) Where are my suicide pills?" Nick knocked on the door and stood smiling as Judy opened up. "Hi." She said with a smile.

Nick walked in and right off the bat he started with his ice picking..."Carrots? Why are you still staying here? You're a lieutenant now. You can afford something bigger than a closet, I know you bunnies….this?…..this causes bunny depression."

"Because right now it's smart living?" Judy replied as she gave Nick a coffee cup and held the small pot in her other hand. "You like yours black of course?"

Nick allowed Judy to pour his coffee and for a moment he stood just watching her as she walked around the small apartment…."So all the usual suspects will be at Buckies tonight right?" She asked him.

"Yeah...including our latest addition. Fritz from Homicide Division, you know, that tabby cat from Precinct 3? Clawhauser invited him a couple of days ago to make him feel at home." Nick said as he sat down on Judy's bed.

After making her own cup of coffee, Judy sat in a chair at her small study desk. "I hope you don't feel closeted in here?" She asked Nick.

"Oh no." Nick replied…."No….no it's…..it's fine." Nick took a moment to play a paw finger over his snoot and then took a deep breath…."Carrots? I really have to talk to you honestly…."

"Can I say something first?" She asked Nick as she patted his legs. "Me first?"

Nick gestured. "Ok….you first."

Judy sat back patting her own lap for a bit before she started speaking..."Nick? How much do you like me? I mean…..really like me? The honest truth?"

"Wow….." Nick replied. "Got a little bush wacked by that zinger." Nick replied as he wiped his head with a paw…."Wow…..uh…..should I be respectful? How about grand slam? Is that too descriptive?" Nick said as he held his paws out.

Judy took that in and nodded. "I…..I feel the same about you."

"I didn't want to make an educated guess in how you might have felt about me." Nick said as he played a paw claw between his teeth. "Judy? Carrots? I have to be very honest..."

Judy stopped him with a raised paw. "Wait?…..just…..wait?" She raised her head in deep thought…."Nick? Do you know how painful it is to love someone but you know you can't really allow them to express what they feel for you?"

Nick's lips started to quiver…."Damn you Carrots….there you go stealing my thunder again...you silly bunny."

Judy fell into Nick's arms and he pulled her against him as they started to sob with each other. Nick rubbed Judy's cheeks and wiped her "tear river" face as he realized she had been agonizing over the same problem that was tearing out his heart…

"I…..love you…..Judy. I love you so much but I'll never do anything to risk you for want of a night's pleasure….you know that." Nick said as he cuddled Judy and she snuggled under his chin….

"You are such a good fox Nicholas Wilde….such a good and wonderful fox." Judy said sobbing. After a bit...Nick returned her to her chair and sat wiping his eyes and drippy nose…

"Snort…...snort…...sniffle….ugh…..you gave me Rabbit Flu." Nick said as he cleared his throat..."I didn't think it would go so easy as this."

Judy finished sobbing and took deep breaths…."You must have prepared a magnum opus?"

"Nope…." Nick replied. "Totally going to fail big time. I would have probably degenerated too….I dunno…..I'm too big, you're too small, I won't fit….it would have been a catastrophe."

Judy sighed…."My problem is? I have yet to find a single bunny here in Zootopia that I like."

"The only vixens I know come down to all four letter words and "Nah"." Nick replied.

Judy got up from her chair and slowly wrapped her arms around Nick's body. "Show me in the rule book? And you know me and rules right? Show me where it says a couple of different animals can not have a lot of fun together?"

"Ummmm….." Nick thought. "My mother's rule book. She wants a grand child. You fight with her, I'm tagging out."

Judy giggled…."I'd rather not. Maybe after tonight at Buckies….since tomorrow is a day off? Perhaps we could "engineer" something that doesn't involve trying to pack "Spam sausage" into a miniature balloon?"

"PFFFFFT! (Laughter) Nick lost it.

"Don't you laugh! I'm serious Nick! I want us to stay together!

"Spam sausage!" Nick laughed as he looked down at his crotch. "She called you….."Spam Sausage!"

"Very funny Nick." Judy said with her arms crossed.

"Oh Judy…. Sigh…..come here?" Nick said as he gestured to her.

"I'm not sure I want to." Judy snorted.

"You come here and sit on my foxy knee or I'll chase you all over this little apartment and play "Predator and Prey" with you….which knowing you? You'll enjoy immensely. Your land lady however? Not so much." Nick said as he reached out, snatched Judy by her arm and pulled her onto his lap…

"Watch the Spam Sausage there." Nick snickered.

"I might cut off a slice." Judy snorted back.

"Look….Judy?" Nick said. "You're right….there is no reason why you and I can't have an amorous relationship with each other but the same thing still applies. Don't let me hold you back and don't feel you need to lock your whole life when at some point you feel the urge to…..you know…...have a baby…..a hundred….a thousand….Just how many did you mother have any way?"

"Had?" Judy replied with a smirk. "Had? Seriously Nick." Judy wrapped her arms around Nick's neck and got her face close to his…."You need to shut up before the hole gets deeper."

"Judy?" Nick tried to reply.

"Nick?" Judy snorted as she twisted his nose with a paw…."Shut…...up. Less angst….more tail play there foxy."

Their maws met in a wonderful dance of warm lips and moist tongues….

"Spam sausage." Nick snickered. "Bet you want that fried with special sauce huh?"

"Nick?" Judy said snorted. "What did I tell you?"

"Shut up?" Nick replied.

"Exactly." Judy said smiling.

 **6:30pm**

 **Judy Hopp's Apartment**

" **The crying bungle in Arms Apartments" Baobab Blvd**

"Oh shiz nuts!" Judy yelped as she sprang from the bed and shook Nick awake. "Nick! 6:30! Get up or we'll be late! Call Fangmeyer!"

"Don't panic ok?" Nick said as he slipped out of the bed in his boxers and yawned. "Giggles….best fun I ever had somewhat dressed."

"No time to really get ready…..ugh!" Judy replied as her panties came flying out of the small bathroom. "I'll just whore bath it…..Ritz n crackers…..Son of a Bison's poop!"

Nick pulled his spare street clothes out of the back pack he brought with him from his car…."You make such a lovely whore?" He snickered as he peaked into the bathroom and got a wet wash rag in the snoot!

"Get out!" Judy snapped. "Ugh…..can't believe we fell asleep!"

"Don't have a stroke Carrots?" Nick said as he stood putting a tie on.

Judy came out dressed in Bunny slacks, a white frilled shirt and a white wool sweater. "Do I at least look presentable?"

"You look absolutely perfect, trust me." Nick said as he offered an arm. "My lady fair cotton tail?"

"Oh this whole part of the day could have been a river of tears fest mess." Judy said as she and Nick walked. "I actually wrote things out and almost resorted to rolling a playing dice to chose an idea."

"I know..." Nick said smiling. "You left them on the dresser."

Judy's paws suddenly flopped to her mouth. "Oh no! You read them?! Nick…. Nick I'm so sorry…."

"Don't go to tears Judy. The idea you had to just "dump me" was very nicely written. I probably would have requested a copy to send to Dale Dorse at 200FM so he could broadcast..."Ladies? If you intend to dump your other species boy friend and not cause him to "Lemming" himself? Please follow this sample letter."

Nick bent down and kissed Judy on the head before they got into his car. "Without a doubt? That….was the nicest thing I got from another girl besides my mother as a scolding."

"I was thinking you'd be livid." Judy said with a breath. "I have so struggled with this ever since we became partners."

"Same….though actually I trace it back to when you showed up by that little bridge and began to get all emotional and called yourself a dumb bunny. That's when the small hairs on the back of my neck rose up and told me…"How could you ever have called this gorgeous thing a dumb bunny?" trust me Judy? I had to hide the fact that I was shaking like a brick had clocked me off the head in a cartoon."

Judy turned more buoyant…."Well tonight? "We" are going to have some fun with our friends! She said as she raised her fist for a bump.

Nick replied with his fist and his usual serine face of self confident coolness. "Yes…..yes we are."

 **BUCKIES**

 **Troop Street and Hibiscus Lane in Downtown Zootopia**

 **7:20pm**

In Zootopia, A "Buckies" is akin to a Denny's or a Shoney's in the human world. Every part of Zootopia has at least three of them which cater specifically to where ever they're planted. A rain forest Buckies has tropical or Asiatic jungle fare. A Tundratown Buckies has seafood or Alaskan / Siberian Russian fare. A Sahara Square Buckies has African, Middle Eastern or Mediterranean food and a downtown Buckies was combo menu mixed and no Buckies was the same as any other.

The weekly little ZPD get-together at Tony's Buckies started with Benjamin Clawhauser inviting newbies, recruits and anyone else as a sort of welcome aboard package to the first precinct and just blossomed into a weekly evening dinner fest attended by up to 15 or 20 officers and staff depending on the work loads, schedules and availability of the upstairs party room...which meant you almost never had the same "shows" but there were the ones' who so far never missed a week...Judy and Nick being two of them along with Clawhauser , Fangmeyer (Tiger), Wolford (Wolf), Francine (Elephant), Garry and Larry (Wolves) from "Narco" division, Bertolt the Bunny from SWAT, and John Merkhorn (Rhino).

Tony (Wart Hog) had been the owner of "True-Hives" (the nickname of the cross streets) Buckies since it was built. A nice old hog with a character akin to say old Earnest Borgnine, he spoke with a slight flash of Holboken and gestured a lot, especially if he got steaming mad. Yet he was as warm with everyone as toast and even for his age, he never forgot names with faces.

Tony came waddling up as Nick and Judy walked through the doors. "Hey hey! There's my favorite patrol officers...did you get lost in traffic or lost in bed?"

"I could indict you for sexual harassment?" Judy snickered before she gave Tony a playful punch on his nearly armored head. "Good Evening Tony."

"So Nick? You got a car? Damn...don't they pay you anything? You could have…." Tony started to say.

"I know….I could have afforded more than a matchbox….ha ha ha….I'm busting up laughing inside…..really." Nick said as he started walking for the second story party room. "Have a lot of animals shown up yet Tony?"

"Oh yeah….just yer principles, go on up! When everyone is settled in, I'll send the waitress." Tony said with a wave.

As Nick and Judy walked into the party room, everyone inside yelled out….

"HEY? WHAT KEPT YAH? DID YOU GET CAUGHT IN TRAFFIC OR CAUGHT IN BED?!"

After which came "whoops whoops" "wolf howling" and clapping.

"Alright….yes….very amusing…..." Nick snickered. "Yes….we got caught in bed...Judy raped me, I need a rape kit."

Judy slugged Nick hard in the stomach and doubled him over. "Advantage to the bunny! "WHOOP WHOOP!" Judy yelped.

"WHOOP WHOOP!" Everyone in the room replied with their fists in the air. Judy sat next to Francine with Nick taking a seat next to her and with Gary Ralston on his right.

"Heard you two scored a nice bust a couple days ago?" Nick asked Gary. "Sounds like you need a howl?"

Larry Purina yelped..."Do not start it! I just want to go one night without baying at the moon ok? I just got Garry nice and settled down Nick."

Gary took a sip of his Barkweiser beer..."Score? We nailed a full truck load of "Super Nip" in Sahara Square. Forty full potato sacks of cat smack, beautiful execution man….Larry went four legged and piddled all over the driver's leg as he was filling up at a gas station; took the fool unarmed. I bet "old Whitey" is steaming to shoot somebody over that lost haul."

Nick nodded and smiled. "You should have seen Hopps at the gun house!" Nick said with excitement. "She is going to bring home the Department top gun trophy this year, absolutely perfect at combat. She just has to shave some time off and stop gazing at the glory that is my tail."

Judy snickered back. "It's not that impressive really."

The arrival of the sort of guest of honor for the night caused Benjamin Clawhauser to get up and wrap an arm around the cat dressed in a gray business suit….

"Everyone! This is Fritz Katz ( A yellow and brown Lynx) our transplant homicide detective from the 4th Precinct in the Rain Forest District. As always I want to make our newest officers welcome to our 1st Prinky family so give him a round of applause?"

The assembled party welcomed Fritz as Clawhauser showed him to a seat. "You don't pay a thing Fritz. The night's on me. Before we order dinner like always...we'll go around the room and let everyone introduce themselves starting with our new member….Fritz?"

Fritz stood up. "Hi everyone...I'm Fritz Katz, I've been with the ZPD for ten years now. I started of course as a beat officer in the Rain Forest District, Precinct Two. I graduated to Homicide in my seventh year and decided to transfer to downtown because my office in Prinky Two gathers more spider webs than cases. I was told that Downtown and Sahara stay pretty busy. I'm married with two children."

Benjamin Clawhauser stood up. "Of course I'm Ben, Benny, Benjamin, Binge doughnut, Claw Hammer, Beach Ball….Sargent Benjamin Clawhauser. I've been with the force for 12 years. I started out on patrol in Sahara Central until my 6th year when I found out I had severe hip displacia. I shattered my left hip chasing a suspect, got medically retired and took the front desk post where I handle incoming suspect processing, public relations, officer to department calls and the SWAT board. I'm not married so I'm available."

Francine stood up. "Francine Stomp. Six years in the ZPD all first Precinct. I mostly work Savanna Central between traffic and covering the college and entertainment strips as well as call up for riot control with my fellow elephants. I'm married to a construction steel worker and we have four kids. Nice to see you here Fritz."

Bertolt stood up. "Bertolt Hanz from Watership Down in the Tri-Burroughs. I joined the ZPD after I saw Lieutenant Hopps make it through the academy. I've been with ZPD SWAT for two years now and specialize in intrusion flanking where we slip into a building through the vent systems and hit suspects in their butts. My life partner is a Tiger and we've been together for about five years now."

Judy stood up. "Hi...I'm Judy Hopps "Carrots" to some. I've been with the ZPD for four years now and was the first Bunny to complete the academy. I patrol where Chef Bogo sends us with my partner Nick Wilde. Welcome Fritz, I think you're not going to be board at all in 1st prinky."

Nick stood up. "Welcome Fritz. I'm Nicholas Wilde...Nick….I'm the first fox in the ZPD and until I put the badge on, I was a street hustler. That's how I met Judy...during the "Mad Predator" case three years back when we nailed former assistant Mayor Bellweather together. I normally spend half the night saying how much I value Lieutenant Hopps but I'll spare her the embarrassment tonight."

Gary and Larry stood up. "Gary Ralston and Larry Purina. We've both worked in the Department for eight years now with Narco Division in all the Districts, just finished a huge "Super Nip" bust. We've been partners not only since we started as patrol cops….we're partners in other things but we feel it best not to get too flamboyant over that. We welcome the new cat to the prinky and we canines promise to be nice and not prank you too bad."

Wolford stood up. "Evening everybody! Welcome Fritz! I'm Kevin Wolford. I've been with the department going on five years now. I get sent to the Rain Forest District mostly to back up Prinky Two with professional rigging, climbing and EMT given that mishaps and accidents involving the trees and rivers is a common concern. I was born in Rain Forest and I'm an extreme sport junkie so working out there for me is a real treat."

Fangmeyer stood up. "My fellow cat Fritz….welcome to Prink One. I'm Carron Fangmeyer, been with the force for seven years now as a patrol officer in Tundra Town...I know….a Tiger in Tundra Town? I must be crazy but I love the snow. I'm married and have something to tell everyone a little later which is exciting."

Merkhorn stood up. "John Merkhorn. Welcome Fritz. Certainly Fritz will be busy enough on my beat, I normally patrol the major highway and the inter-routes of the city and Districts as well as work the riot control and tactical squads should we ever have large scale events. I'm also the "on ready" door destroyer and car crusher."

Clawhauser waved his hand…."Oh! Tell Fritz about the guy who shot your horn! What you did to his car?!"

Merkhorn snorted. "Yeah….this moron tried to shoot me in the face with a silly home made zip gun during a traffic stop last week...a Puma….I snatched the dude's car and threw it like a shot put ball. Looks beautiful on the dash cam! Turns out he had two zip bags full of Khat in the glove compartment. He thinks a dinky little zip gun is going to put a dent in a rhino's skull? What a moron!"

Clawhauser clapped and waved his hands. "So….let's go ahead and order. dinner and then get to the night's festivities. Of course we have the glass bowl in the center of the table here. Fritz, we do this every week. We pick someone in the Department who might need a little help and we pitch donations. This week is for Officer Demartis (Kangaroo) who is our "weapons smith" down in the armory. His mom is very sick and she's up in age so we want to give him something to know we all think of him at this time so if you can donate? Please do so."

"Now let's order up some food shall we?" Clawhauser said smiling. He then waved to the waiting waitress (A "Dic dic" antelope) named Jadah.

Clawhauser gestured. "Everyone...Jadah is our usual server. Please act like animals and not beasts?"

"Really everyone...I'm not easily offended." Jadah said with a smirk.

"Good! Now come over here so I can eat you on the table." Fangmeyer said with a snicker and a show of his clean white fangs.

"And then your wife will eat you when you get home." Francine said.

Jadah waved a pen around. "So I guess your newbie is first? What will have dear?"

Fritz replied..."A Jungle large Taco, twisty fries and a salid."

"Francine?" Jadah asked.

"Hmmmm….A Pachyderms Platter with melted cheese sauce and a salid." Francine replied. "And put those Asian peanuts on the salid?"

"Of course." Jadah replied. "Benji?"

"Feline Fajitas with a side of kibble salad." Clawhauser said.

"Mister Fangmeyer?" Jadah asked.

"Has to be meat…..sweet and juicy meat mixed with a big salad topped by yourself of course wrapped in a big bow." Fangmeyer said with a grin.

"Fang? You really want a death with from your wife. So the usual for you, the big meat melt with fries and salad." Jadah said as she scribbled fast. "Judy?"

"Giddion's Warren pie and a small salad with baby fresh carrots." Judy said.

"Nick?" Jadah asked.

"Foxes delight special with a salad." Nick replied.

"Now I know Gary and Larry well enough….you two are going to share a Moon beam meat pie….I mean….you're going to "shred it" in between making out." Jadah snickered.

"Our sex life is not your job there toots." Larry snorted.

"Yes….we're going to make out without any shame. Clear the table!" Garry yelped….then he howled….

"Garry!" Larry yelped as he tried to cover his ears but to no avail as he too howled and then Wolford howled which made Nick cringe in his seat….

"Alright! Alright! Sheesh….wolves and howling….what is it with that? Why can't you be like us foxes? The less offensive of the canine spectrum?"

Wolford snorted. "Because unlike you foxes? We don't sound like we wear panties. Which by the way you do often."

"WOO! WOO!WOO!WOO!WOO!WOO!WOO! WOOOOOOOOOO!" The three wolves sounded…

"Actually?" Wolford snickered. "Nick does look cute enough to hump? When he's dressed like a Vixen."

"Hey!" Judy snapped as she slapped the table with her paw. "When you drooling butt lickers match the arrest record me and Nick have on solicitation? Then you can open your big snappers…mangy butt sniffers."

"How many this week Nick?" Wolford asked.

"Thirty two in Sahara." Nick replied. "We also busted three Solicitors, including "Toy Boy" at the Mystic Baths. He made a big mistake….he called Nangi the "C" bomb and she kicked his ass."

Clawhauser nodded. "And that shut down solicit operations in Sahara, at least for now until "Whitey" re-establishes it."

Fritz asked..."Whitey? Who's that?"

Garry replied. "The other major crime boss in Zootopia...only unlike Mister Big? He has no honor, he has no scruples and everything goes with him from solicitation to gambling to extortion to laundering money and murder. The bastard has absolutely no fear and no one knows who he is or just how big his organization is. You never heard of the Lucky Eight's massacre?"

"Lucky Eights?" Fritz replied. "You're talking about the mass shooting at the bowling alley in Sahara Square?"

"That's what happens when you try to cut in on Whitey's business. The gang was called "French Connection" their leader was a skunk named Pepe? Whitey's boys gunned down the FC leadership and left Pepe "de-tailed and shaved of his pelt" in a stew pot. That's what he does to his competition."

Judy sat tapping her finger on the table..."We never get close to the guy and I know what's going to happen when we do. It'll make "Slaughtermouse Five" look like a children's cartoon. We're going to be in an all out war."

Clawhauser sensed the tension…."Look! Since we've ordered everything? Let's move on to more light-hearted topics….like most interesting traffic story, who's got one?"

Fangmeyer stood up. "I do….but before I talk about it, I have an announcement which is the surprise I talked about earlier. I am happy to announce that the wife and I are going to have our first cub."

Everyone was joyful with Garry and Larry raising their beers. "Everyone say congratulations! Fang finally got it up!"

"Thanks you guys." Fangmeyer replied. "Of course I'm all yellow yarn and claw crazy. The wife is having some wild cravings like having a big side of beef in the house so she can pounce on it and tear it up….you know…..that mothering instinct for "prey and provide" kicks in and everything looks delicious to her. And oh yeah….it's got to spray blood….big must...so I bought some protean concentration at "Uji-meat-yahs" and our birthing room looks like a whacky "Pig-casso" painting. So right now? It's best none of our "prey family" friends come over….unless they're wrapped up as a burrito."

Nick raised a paw finger. "Or...in the case of my partner here? Delivered on a silver platter naked with cute little white paper booties with an apple in her mouth."

Judy jabbed Nick in the side. "Watch it? Or I might deliver you personally as a desert snack."

Fangmeyer raised a paw…."So any way. I'm patrolling Snowball Drive and I get this call from dispatch of a "rear ender" at the top of Nanny Goat Hill, it's the highest and steepest street in all "Ton Town". These two Lemmings are going at each other all tooth and steak knives..."

John Merkhorn shook his head. "Just had to be Lemmings?"

"Yeah….right?" Fangmeyer replied. "So I get up to the top of the hill…..and…..no Lemmings….no damaged Lemming cars…..nothing. There's signs in the snow of a tussle but no drivers to be found. That's because? They didn't lock the brakes on their cars and "woosh" down the hill they went and down after the cars went the Lemmings…..right into two very busy intersections. Well?….the cars made it, the Lemmings didn't. Double death investigation."

Bertolt sat shaking his head. "What is it with Lemmings? Why do they show such suicidal tendencies? Remember the base jumpers off the Eagle Point shopping plaza? Only one guy had a chute pack and twenty of those little dumb asses followed him...no chutes!"

Fritz raised his hand. "I can add to that one. The Three Point Fountain River train trestle Bachelor's massacre."

Francine giggled. "Now say that ten times fast while drunk."

Fritz chuckled back…."You probably all know where the Pride Lands train bridge is. It's the one for the Speed Liner that has that 80 foot drop to the Three Point Fountain River in Rain Forest District? Well this one Lemming is getting married so his family and friends arrange a spur of the moment bachelor's party on the Pride bridge. Absolutely illegal, they're all on the service walkway but you can't deny the view from the bridge….stunning vista. Well they're all getting wasted on good old Apple Jack Cider number Three."

Garry snickered. "Lemmings and booze….wonderful combination."

Fritz nodded. "Oh yeah….really smart thing to do….booze up on a train trestle over a very high drop to a river. Well...you get the inevitable "liquid steel balls of courage" challenge. Mister "best man" dares "The groom" to dive into the water below because after all….Lemmings are light, small and will float on their way down so what the hell….80 feet? No problem!"

"So off into space goes our Groom….only the floating lighter than a feather myth….is a myth….."SPLAT!" "gurgle gurgle" dead Lemming. Now everyone in the party can see he's not swimming, they can tell he's face down in the water so what do you think happens?"

Clawhauser stood up and fake drunk stumbled…."Bah….no problem….I can do it better…."hick"…..you dufus! You did it wrong! Jerry N Moe!"

Everyone laughed as Fritz waved his paw…."Nicely don Benny."

"Thank you." Clawhauser replied with a bow.

"So exactly that….the Best Lemming, who is by now very plastered, looks over the edge, chews out the late groom for his shabby performance and "VOOM!" into space and "SPLAT!" dead groom…..dead best Lemming."

Judy sat shaking her head. "Oh my carrot sticks….this is going to get really stupid."

"Yup…..but 52 more times stupid. Brothers, cousins, Bride's brothers, Bride's uncles, the band that was going to play at the reception, The Lemming who was going to officiate the wedding, the florist….dead, dead, dead and dead. This only left one Lemming left….the caterer."

"He couldn't have been that stupid?" Nick yelped.

"No he was determined." Fritz replied. "After all...one of the Bride's brothers had the 50 grand payment for all the wedding catering services and damn it if that Lemming was going to come up short changed….off he went and dead."

"Well…." Judy said snickering. "Second to us Bunnies, Lemmings mass produce like a machine gun bullet factory so the families were probably planning a new wedding in like six months."

"And the follow on mass funeral." Nick chirped.

Jim Delgato (Lion) who showed up minutes ago waved a paw. "Well? Next to Lemmings? I'd say your squirrels and chipmunks are next on the dedicated to exit from the gene pool. Benji radios me to report to the new Sand Dunes Casino going up in Sahara Square and he says..."Be advised you'll need rubber gloves, a 30 gallon freezer bag and a miniature jaws of life tool." So I reply..."What kind of accident is this?" and Benji says…."You're going to need the "M-Jolly" tool to get the squirrel off the high power line." Needless to say this was not going to be pretty at all."

"I showed up and sure enough there's this poor line-working squirrel hanging off one of the main power lines to the new hotel….obviously he's smoked jerky so I have to get statements and photos from witnesses before I harness up and ride the boom basket to get him down. Turns out he's up there in the morning because the main line has to be spliced into the reducer unit before the power goes into the building. You know haste makes waist and dead bodies….first he forgets to make sure the line isn't live then he forgets his tools when he goes up in the extension basket to work on it. But? He did remember to bring the goop stuff to finish the splice and coat the connection so…..he's going to use his nice set of teeth to sever the line and do the splice…..BZZZZZZZZZIP…...dead." Delgato said shaking his head. "Getting him separated from that power line was not fun."

"Lighter side traffic story!" Francine yelped out from her chair.

"The chair recognizes the elephant in the room." Clawhauser replied.

Francine stood up..."Last week I was rolling through Grass Street in Savanna Central and I'm stopped at the Meadows intersection. This small black sporty flies right under my cruiser, runs the stop, causes a camel to kiss a street light and I'm right on his butt. I'm yelling into my radio for him to stop and finally I had to shoot an electric net to disable the car and force the guy to roll to the side of the street. It's a Shrew but the car he's driving is super street illegal."

"I walk up to the car and demand the little guy give me his license and registration and he hands me this card with a number on it. He says to me..." Just call that number lady. We'll clear this up nice and quiet." So I tell the guy back. "I'm not going to call this number, you know what you did Sir now give me your license and registration please?"

"Well….the little guy grumbles and cusses but I got the papers and went back to run the plate. Guess who it was? Ptolomei Big."

Judy smirked. "You're bunny dropping me right? Little Ptolomei?"

"Yes girl…..number one grandson himself." Francine replied. "So he's probably thinking that when I find out who he is, I'll just have to let him go."

"Anyone wanna guess if I really gave a flock?" Francine asked. "Anyone?"

Francine waited for an answer then continued. "So I come back to the car and told number one grand brat that I would call for his car to be impounded and he was going to get a ticket and a court date for reckless driving and public endangerment. Well next he tries to bribe me so I'm done. I told him "I don't care who your grandfather is, I don't care who your mother is, I'm revoking your license and taking your car now sit down and keep quiet. I took his car and threw it in the back of my cruiser and the kid absolutely looses his mind. He climbed up my pant leg and sank his little chompers into my tail!"

Everyone laughed….

"This isn't funny! I have this enraged rat…..sorry…...Shrew, I have this really pissy shrew chewing up my tail so I turned around and said…."That does it you little spoiled brat...I'm driving you home!"

"Chomp…..chomp….gulp?" All of a sudden he grows an instant crop of apologies, he's petting my tail, he's calling me "sweet" "gorgeous" "Zootopia's most beautiful elephant" and I'm like...quit your horse dump and take your medicine? I drove up to Tundra Town and right up to Mister Big's front gate and Ptolomei's on his knees begging me not to tell his Grandfather."

"Long story short? Here we are in Mister Big's office and he shows up with that really big bruiser of a polar bear named "Tall Pauley" and Mister Big asks me "What did he do?" And I told him the story and I was expecting Ptolomei to get all nasty but he's keeping his snoot shut."

"Mister Big points to the car on the floor and says..."I gives you a nice car and you abuse the privilege? I owns the car, not's you….ICE THE CAR!" And one of the polar bears whipped out a sledge hammer and trashed that Tonka Toy into a hundred flying pieces! Then he says…."I warned you what would happen if you cut up and make me look stupid didn't I? What do you have for ears? Potato chips or somethin? You dare bring shame on our family? Maybe you need a lesson in humility? ICE THE KID!"

"That lighted ice hole over the river has a way of shocking the stupid out of stupid animals….kid pissed himself and got humility in a hurry." Francine said as she sat down.

Judy stood up..."Last week? Nick nailed fourth Precinct's assistant Chief during a Solicit sting. He's still being processed to get the boot."

Clawhauser's mouth hung open..."He nailed Tanner? Oh….my…..goodness! Strait shooter, block jaw, no smiles Tanner?"

Nick giggled. "Oh he wasn't smiling at all. I milked him right up to when I pulled the badge and Hopps tackled him. I got it on video…..little Bunny wrangling a warthog….priceless. She gave that grouchy pig a back eye."

Fangmeyer snickered..."And you gave him eye cancer."

"That I did." Nick replied as he chewed a toothpick..."He quickly found out things went South? When his hand…."Went south" for "Nutbush City."

Francine folded her ears over her head..."Enough Nick! My sensitive femininity is being destroyed!"

Judy was going between trying to speak and trying to breath…."So I'm watching this whole thing from across the street and Nick is just milking this whole silly experience...Imagine him in a short blue skirt, a white shirt, pink panties, make up and pumps…."

"Damn...my eyes are gone." Bertolt yelped. "Dude! I've just been "de-gay'd" by the image….damn."

Judy held onto Nick and gasped hard…."So Tanner starts hand playing right? He starts hand playing down there and Nick looks right in his face, calm as can be and says...and says…."Welcome to Buxom Billiards...would you care to rack and stack em?" And Tanner about falls over on his butt trying to get the hell out of hornets! "WHERE YOU GOING HONEY?! I'M NOT DONE YET?!"

The room busted out in laughter and animals fell out of their seats from imagining this "Hindenburg" of a bust. "So we pulled our badges and Tanner decides he's going to "tusk" me, he actually charged me with his tusks! I jumped up and rabbit kicked him right into a parking meter."

"I asked sour puss for a date." Nick said calmly. "He hasn't called me back yet. I'd be afraid of what his wife will do to him though. My advice for everyone is to carefully examine their meat at the deli for the next few months."

The food started to arrive with two large appetizer platters being put on the table paid by Clawhauser, each specific to every species and which were soon left bare. Talking soon turned to personalities and species...lions talking with Tigers, Wolves with wolves, smaller animals with other smaller animals...Nick beaming over his tail with a small slicker comb while chewing a chicken stick and looking At Judy's latest family photos on her smart phone…

"Which one is this now?" Nick asked over Judy's shoulder. "What? Like sister number 492?"

Judy spanked Nick off the snoot. "No! This is niece 27….her name is Cassia."

"Which brother or sister's kid?" Nick asked.

"My number 16 brother….Rufio. She was born yesterday...his first brood. His wife pumped out nine."

"How do you Bunnies do it? I mean...how do you cope with so many kids in one house?" Nick asked as he fluffed his tail with his hands.

"If you'd take up my offer and come with me to Bunnyburrough, you'd find out? You really need to stop worrying about my parents Nick, I mean they work with Gideon Gray, he's a fox. My dad has changed a lot since you met him here, trust me." Judy said as she patted Nick's lap.

"I still felt that "air of concern" that time you planted a kiss on my cheek in front of Stewart and he looked like a ready to blow up boiler. I know the conversation he had with you Carrots, don't lie about it?"

"I'm a grown Bunny….Nick. My father has to accept it regardless what his inner mores tell him. My mother though? She speaks and thinks from a practical sense...I better be married and shooting bunnies before she dies, that's all she cares about with me, part of being a happy and well adjusted Bunny who is not a bane on their parents requires bare rabbits feet and pregnancy; to my mom that's a mark of a child she doesn't have to worry over. Then again...I wasn't your average female bunny from the first day out of the womb."

Judy reached out, snagged Nick's tail comb and dropped it on the table..."Can you stop having sex with your tail? It's a little nerving talking to you when you're about to hump your own plume."

"Hey Lieutenant? Don't stomp his stump?" Larry yelped. "A good and well kept tail is a sign of success and good breeding."

Garry snickered. "Hard to breed when you're a homosexual?"

"Yeeeeah….but that doesn't dim the importance of a well groomed rear rudder?" Larry replied. "It catches "your" eye….which is all I care about."

Garry turned to Bertolt..."So are you going to Pride or what?"

"Not this year." Bertolt replied. "I'm on the long distance shooting team this time for the inter-Department games. I've been shooting like non-stop because I want to rub that smug snoot of Linton's from Prinky Three in the dirt."

"He's got bob tail envy." Larry snickered.

"I'll "bob" you." Bertolt snorted back. "That Bobcat has enough trophies. Now he's qual'd for the Animalympics which means his "Super Prick" status just jumped to "Galactic Super Prick Emeritus."

"You're just jealous because he was your rival in elementary school at summer camp. I heard all about that story." Fangmeyer snickered. "Linton beat Bertolt in a timed event by a second and Bert complained it was because he wore a stringy friendship bracelet and it crossed the line first that and the fact that Linton is just naturally predisposed to being a little aloof so he came off to Bert as being a smug and uppity little pile of horse turds. Bert you really should free yourself of these petty grudges?"

Everyone's food started to come next and soon the talk became sporadic as everyone ate….

Fritz raised a paw…."Does anyone know anything non-lethal that knocks down a Honey Badger?"

"Honey Badgers do not care." Nick replied. "Honey Badger beats "Chuck Horse-rus"

"Chuck Horse-rus made the world in six days, Honey Badger didn't like it, tore it up and re-made it in one day." Judy said as she ate her Gideon pie.

Fangmeyer waved a paw..."There is nothing and I mean nothing non-lethal that can put down a really ticked off Honey Badger...especially one under the influence and already super angry. I was wise enough to throw the door of my own cruiser shut before one of them "re-detailed" the inside. 4,000 "Otter clams" worth of damage to that sucker."

"Actually? Not all Honey Badgers have a bad attitude." Judy said. "We have one that "fertz" our fields back home."

"Honey Badger with an airplane...run for your lives." Nick said, which got him a foot stomp on the toes…."Ouch! Carrots!"

"I would trust Bo Hathcock in some things more than you." Judy snorted. "He's actually not short tempered….till you get him and my father talking about how to properly prepare a planting field then run like heck because fists do start flying as do the bandages and peroxide."

"Well I for one can testify that size does not matter when you have a Honey Badger screaming at you...Which makes me wonder why we don't have a single one as a police officer?" Francine said.

"Because they can't pass the levelness requirements." Clawhauser said. "You know our line of work requires a high tolerance against blowing our stacks in the field. Honey badgers just can't pass the initial examination...not that we don't get applicants."

"Honey Badgers and Foxes….we don't mix." Nick said waving his arms. "Partners or anything, there is much bad blood between us. I'll just stay as far from them as possible." Nick returned to eating his meal and soon smacked his maw with warm joy…."I love this food...I so wish I could live here, I'd die with a pooch stomach I swear."

Judy smiled at him..."Do you ever gain weight? I swear Nick you can eat a whole big pizza and you don't thicken out."

"Can't afford to get fat." Nick replied, then he looked at Ben Clawhauser. "Sorry Ben!"

"Sorry what? Like you'd easily offend me? I only got like this because of my bum hip. You and Judy do so much running around. How much do you save on gas every week "hoofin" all over the city?"

"Plenty." Judy replied. "The transit system is so well run that we can leave the cruiser parked at my apartment building unless we get assigned to traffic."

Garry and Larry meanwhile were looking at Fangmeyer's latest "baby bump" pics and the "whelping room" for his coming cub…

"So any ideas what you want to do with the room yet?" Larry asked.

"No..." Fangmeyer replied. "I've had some ideas but me and the wife can't agree. We both like a jungle theme on the walls with drawings of our parents. Sort of a traditional talisman in the Tiger family...the Grandparents standing watch and all?"

"Let us paint it?" Garry asked. "Show him the picture?"

"That one's a little personal?" Larry worried.

"Just show him?" Garry persisted. "We painted this picture about a year ago Fang. Just a warning ok? It's obviously homosexual but I think you'll like the talent."

Fangmeyer looked at Garry's smart phone and nodded a little at the painted picture of Larry and Garry in a sort of "Yin Yang" pose with each other with Larry laying among grass and flowers and Garry laying in snow with a light blue tint.

"You two painted this?" Fangmeyer asked.

"I drew it out and Larry took it from there." Garry said. "Well is that cool or what?"

"And you two could do what we're thinking of?" Fangmeyer asked.

"Well for beer and food sure." Garry replied. "Probably take us about two weeks to finish it but you'll be pleasantly surprised. And we'll do it for nothing."

"You don't have to reject money guys." Fangmeyer said.

"Shut it." Larry replied. "We're gonna buy you guys a crib and a couple boxes of diapers and some stuffed animals too so don't you dare pay us anything."

Fritz popped the cap off his "Herd-a-vorsen" beer and sat next to Clawhauser. So if we don't go after "Whitey" directly. Why do we let Mister Big operate? Isn't he a bigger crime boss?"

"He has an army of good lawyers and he knows just how close he can push and poke without provoking us. He's also sort of "in our pocket" because we get tidbits and tips from him to bust a lot of dealers. Mister Big absolutely hates the botanical traders, he'll rat out narcs but we don't publicize that. We leave him alone because we both hate the same enemy. Some of our big busts came from information Mister Big and his Polar mafia provided to us."

"Hey Benji?" Merkhorn called out. "You're also our police union rep with the main chapter, what's the story with our dental coverage?"

"Same as always….twenty percent coverage is considered adequate if you follow the health guidelines. It's not that difficult." Clawhauser replied.

"Well when you're a Rhino it can be pretty difficult. Big hands...small brushes, not so good. And I'm not using the brushes they sell for Rhinos in the stores because they cut flesh. All I'm asking for is enough co-pay reduction to cover a once a month professional bird to come in and pick my chops?" Merkhorn said.

"I'll keep pressing the President with the issue John, that's all I can do. But the city administration has the final say." Clawhauser replied.

"Another thing I want to address is this new "use of force" issue." Wolford remarked. "Did anyone get a chance to look at the new proposed guidelines regarding restraint tactics? They want to ban choke holds and arm twisting!"

Judy waved her hand. "In some cases? I would agree Wolfie. Especially in cases where the size and power difference are clearly outmatched. I mean let's say Merkhorn has to deal with…..with a fox about Nick's size? If John slips up? He could seriously damage Nick's wind pipe or spine in the heat of a brawl. The tactics have to meet the physicality of the offender.

Wolford replied..."I'm not saying Merkhorn should just pick up our old pal Duke Weaselton and launch him through a couple of windows to be hit by a Mack truck and Grouse knows I'd like to do worse to that mouthy little piss ant punk but don't take all our tools away? I'm waiting for them to tell me I can only carry a pair of Nerf chucks to take on a Panther and that I'm supposed to sing him to sleep while he cuts me up like a good steak! You all agree on this don't you?"

Francine huffed..."Honey? All I have to do is sit on people and they comply. And no fat jokes there "scruffy" or out the second story window you go."

Judy waved a paw..."What's more a worry to me is how they want to research taser power reduction. For Nick and I and Bertolt and other small animals on the force, we can not afford to be armed with tasers that don't 100 percent guarantee that the offender will kiss the concrete when we shoot them. Stunning doesn't work against larger animals and stunning is where they want to go. Benny? You must make it clear to the ZPA President that we won't accept "stunner" tasers."

Nick nodded. "I don't want my bushy butt hanging in the breeze when some big mean mountain lion shrugs off the taser and says..."Come here you pretty fox." I had that experience doing temp duty at the jail and that's why I don't do any more temp duty at the jail."

Judy pushed her unfinished pie away and sat rubbing her stomach…."Oh my gawd….I swear Gideon's pies are almost as good as….you know?"

"Damn..." Nick huffed. "I got dumped. Didn't you tell me this guy used to beat you up a lot?"

"He did when we were kids, after all he was the biggest kid in the class and most of us were small pray animals like sheep, deer and bunnies. But he turned out alright. His father didn't take to well with his son wanting to be a baker, one of your old fashion types who thought females were best tied to a rope in the kitchen while males should be out breaking things and dripping motor oil. Gideon lived in total rebellion, repression and anger and he took it out on us smaller animals. Now? He's just lovable."

"I see." Nick said with a sour look.

"Nick? Are you? Are you jealous?" Judy asked.

"Played you didn't I? He sounds all right." Nick said as he finished munching on a carrot stick. "So? Any ideas after we're done here?"

"I had nothing in mind?" Judy replied.

"Lemme stew my brain for a minute? I might come up with something amusing….dangerous or downright fox-typical for us?" Nick said as he closed his snoot with Judy's nose and gave it a gentle lick kiss…."Ok?"

Judy felt her heart race. When Nick did his eyes the way he looked at her? It couldn't help but leave her a little "warm" in her seat. "Oh kay….dangerous might be entertaining?"

Nick smiled and doe'd his eyes…."The bunny selects dangerous...I hope you haven't lost your mind?"

Judy pushed Nick on his chest…."Stop "trancing" me like that! Woooo….you just….you kinda creep me out and…."

Nick smiled at her…."And?"

"Well? You know! We're in public here?" Judy said with a gesture.

End of part 1


	2. Chapter 2

**ZOOTOPIA**

 **buckies**

A tame fan fiction by Dan 1966

(c) Zootopia 2016 by Disney Animation Studios

 **Part 2**

 **Buckies**

 **10pm**

Nick smiled and doe'd his eyes…."The bunny selects dangerous...I hope you haven't lost your mind?"

Judy pushed Nick on his chest…."Stop "trancing" me like that! Woooo….you just….you kinda creep me out and…."

Nick smiled at her…."And?"

"Well? You know! We're in public here?" Judy said with a gesture.

Nick looked at everyone else and raised a hand. "Hey, everyone? I need an opinion?"

"Nick!" Judy snapped. "Dom't embarrass me!"

"Carrots? Please?" Nick replied to her then turned back to everyone else. "I'd like everyone's honest opinion? Do you think Lieutenant Hopps would hake s great Chief or what? Any doubters around the table?"

Fritz raised his paw. "I really can't have an opinion."

Nick smiled back. "Oh come on? Just by looking at her, does she drip of chief or not?"

"Well I think she's qualified." Wolford said as he wiggled his beer in his paw. "She's a "go getter" max, why can't she be Chief?"

"She can't be seen over the Chief's podium." Francine joked.

"Ha ha ha….and you girl could not fit in Bogo's office." Judy came back.

"That is true." Francine replied. "The doorway is a bit elephant challenged.

Merkhorn snorted. "In all honesty? A Chief has to have a commanding presence, an imposing visage….

"And he has to dance to a Gazelle act like a gay guy." Nick snickered. "Anyone not think that the Chief on "Brookhorn 99" is not an absolute flamer?"

"He's absolutely delicious." Clawhauser giggled.

"Well thank you that we all finished dinner there Benny." Fangmeyer said as he shook his head and winced. "Super terrible visual."

Clawhauser waved a paw..."Just so you all know?" He said as he pulled a bunch of tickets from his jacket. "I have ten VIP tickets to Gazelle's performance in two months to debut her new album "Wild Side of the Jungle" free to anyone who wants one?"

Nick waved his hand. "Slide two here!"

"Give me two!" Fangmeyer asked.

"I'll take one!" Francine yelled.

"We'll have two!" Larry said as he gestured to Garry.

"I'll take one!" Fritz asked.

"Anyone else?" Clawhauser asked as he waved the remaining ticket. "Ok then, this one will go to Chief Bogo." Clawhauser looked at his watch. "And it's 10:15 pm and I know most of us are working tomorrow so this ends our weekly gathering. Everyone be careful going home and if you think you drank too much? I brought the white Department van so I'll be happy to take anyone home."

The gathering broke up with everyone handing Clawhauser their money and checks and slowly filing out into the parking lot…

"So?" Judy asked Nick as they stood waving to everyone. "What's on your sneaky foxy mind for the rest of the night?"

Nick gestured to his car. "Why don't you get in and find out? That's….if you trust me?"

"I slept with you with my panties on and you wonder if I trust you?" Judy replied as they walked.

"Just testing you Carrots." Nick said as they slipped into the car and started to drive down the road through downtown. "I had a great time tonight. I swear you don't get better food than at Tony's. We should eat there during our lunch breaks."

"We'd go broke." Judy replied.

"Not from the salads." Nick replied. "They make a so killer chicken salad. And for you a green and carrot stick simple one only costs 2.50." Nick steered the car onto Route 394 to Savana Central and popped in a CD of "Mink Floyd" selecting Track 3..."Rabbit's Run".

"How "a prope" Judy said as she adjusted the seat back and watched the city fly by the window..."Are you? Trying to get pulled over? You're doing 70 Nick."

"You're off duty Lieutenant." Nick said as he pulled a bottle of "Bugs Rabbit" beer from his jacket. "Night cap?"

Judy snickered as she took the bottle. "I get it now? You give me a beer and we're driving towards Savana Central listening to "Mink Floyd". You got a hotel room out there and you're intent is to ravage me."

"What the?" Nick replied. "I have no such intention. I do intend to go to the beach at Lion's Gate. I hear the ocean and the moon are perfect for viewing tonight."

Judy took a sip of her beer. "I never took you as a sort of soft romantic type?" She said as she reached over and played a finger over Nick's snoot…

"Easy there Hopps...I am driving? Don't want me to get distracted." Nick took the turn off towards Lions Gate and sang to himself as the Mink Floyd music played…

"Run, rabbit run...Dig that hole, forget the sun...And when at last the work is done  
Don't sit down, it's time to dig another one...For long you live and high you fly  
But only if you ride the tide...And balanced on the biggest wave...You race towards an early grave..."

"You have such a sweet voice." Judy said with a sigh as she placed her beer in one of the drink holders. "How long are we going to stay at the beach?"

"Depends on how long you can stay awake." Nick replied. "Why? You in a rush to get home? I promise I'll send a text to your parents there high school cheerleader."

Judy pursed her lips. "I was never one."

"Really?" Nick asked. "You miss athleticism was never a cheer leader?"

"It didn't fit into my plans." Judy replied as Nick took the turn which brought the car along side the concrete sea wall that ran the length of the beach. He turned into the roadside parking lot and sat back for a moment gesturing out to the ocean. "See what I told you?"

Judy looked over the front of the car to see the moon's reflection in the calm waters….it is wonderful."

Nick got out of the car and poked his head back in as he pulled his shirt off. "You coming?"

"I didn't bring a suit." She replied.

"I brought a pair of swim trunks and a white t-shirt and yes….they are your size. Well….the t shirt is big enough to cover your little cotton tail."

Nick walked to the trunk, opened it up and pulled out some blankets and a couple of pillows after he threw Judy the shorts and tee.

"We're going to sleep on the beach?" She asked Nick as he walked past her.

"The water is still a gentle 74 degrees and the air is 70. In the morning it's expected to be a nice 65 degrees….perfect sleeping weather. I also brought some towels too."

Judy followed Nick onto the sand and soon was sitting on a blanket with him, finishing off her beer as the fox laid on his back and looked up at the stars…

"Nick?" Judy asked as she lay on her side. "Do you think I could be Chief?"

"Yup." Nick replied. "A hundred percent with no doubts which is what I'm shooting for."

"Why do you deny yourself?" She asked him. "You're just as good an officer as me and yet? You worry and push more for me than for yourself. You should be an inspector by now with all the work we've done together and yet you throw every credit on me and never take any for yourself? Why?"

Nick rolled over to look at Judy. "A fox's secrets are not for others to know. Call it part of my very grand scheme? In your success is mine." Nick jumped up and pointed to the water. "You coming to swim or what?"

Judy smiled softly back at him. "I think I'm a little drunk."

Nick reached down and took a paw…."Guess I'll have to do the gentleman thing and carry you huh?"

Nick picked Judy up without a problem being she was so much smaller and lighter and allowed her to wrap her legs around his waist..."Well? I was expecting to just carry you in my arms Lieutenant but if you feel more comfortable?"

"Stop with the Lieutenant stuff? We're off duty?" Judy said as Nick carried her into the water with him up to his chest…

"See? Told you it was pleasantly warm." Nick said softly.

Judy felt over his face for a moment before planting her lips over the tip of his maw…."So you were right." She replied. "Be honest? Is there a Vixen you do like? Because….if there is? I understand."

"Nope." Nick replied. "Not one. But there was one about five years ago named Juliana. She was from the rain forest district, worked the financial block downtown. That one lasted about three months until she found out what I liked to do for a living and so "Career one" "Nicky zero" I guess hustling looks bad at company cotillions. Actually? I butt scammed her boss who was just happening to be doing some illegal insider trading...and she lost her job."

Judy snickered. "That's an interesting twist-play? Hustler stomps a hustler?"

Nick lowered himself and Judy just to get wet and stood back up…."Don't go trying to hustle my poor mother out of her life savings. The dirt bag got what he wanted. I tried to explain to Juliana but I think the mark on my face was enough of a "fox You" message to give a hint that she was in a non-negotiating state."

"Speaking of mom?" Judy asked. "When do I get to meet yours?"

"When I feel she won't harass you and me over you being a bunny and her wanting grandchildren." Nick replied as he slowly started to walk from the water. "And no...not because I might be a little embarrassed for you not to meet her."

"I didn't think that." Judy replied as Nick let her down and walked hand and hand with her back to the blankets where he handed her a towel before sitting down.

"Wasn't that wonderful?" Nick asked as Judy sat toweling herself off.

"Yes it was." Judy replied.

Nick gestured as he opened his legs…."You want something really wonderful Carrots? Come here?"

"What?" Judy asked. "Come what?"

Nick gestured again and smiled softly. "Come here...snuggle your bunny butt up against me and find out?'

Judy hesitated for a moment. "Nick? What are you plotting?"

"Stop asking silly questions?" Nick replied as Judy sat and turned her back to him. "See? There's this old myth that goes way back in Foxdum...kinda borders on the per-historic bent of how my ancestors subdued bunnies. There's a series of places on a bunny that if you touch them right? They go catatonic….a sort of soothing trance right before a fox would rip their necks open. Sort of a mercy kill move with prey."

Judy felt Nick's paw fingers slowly move over her shoulders as she backed herself against his body. A few small kissing pecks on the nape of her neck and Judy felt her shirt leave her body…

"Don't worry…." Nick said in a very soft toned voice that pierced Judy's skin..."I'm not going after your shorts." His fingers moved with different pressure over different parts of her back while the Fox's maw and tongue worked around her neck….every few moments the feeling of the teeth pressing against her skin caused he to jump….

"Nick?!" Judy chirped as the sensation of the predator's teeth against her skin because erotically pleasing to her and she craned her head as far as she could to feel all of the wet maw coating her neck with tingles of hot pleasure. She was compelled to grab for her shorts but she felt his hands quickly pull her from it…

"Nope." Nick said gracefully. "Just sit…..and enjoy this." He said as he held her hands. He took a long moment just to sit and sniff over her body…."You're excited huh?" He said as he began to work over her ears…

Judy was half freaking out and half "doped" up. She was getting an erotic high both from his fingers manipulating parts of her ears and the feeling of his sharp teeth poking and moving over her skin. The intensity hit crazy level with her legs thumping about madly and her breath peaking to a gasping squeal before she flopped onto her back and felt a moist wetness between her legs…

Nick sat smiling softly in her face..."And that is the "kill shot" as my ancestors probably called it...you alright?"

Judy lay blinking and softly moaning before she finally sat up and Nick helped her to sit bend forwards a little to shake the haze and daze causing her world to spin like crazy…..

"Gasp….Pucker nuts….my vision's blurry." Judy said as she held her head.

"Easy Carrots." Nick said as he rubbed her back. "I went a little too much on that….sorry…."

Judy jumped onto Nick's lap and flopped him over! "Are you kidding me?! Too much?! Oh my gawd! Oh…..my…...gawd…..gasp…...that was fantastic!"

"Well it wouldn't have been if you were really being hunted….you know? Momentary bliss followed by gurgling and a lot of blood flowing from your ripped open neck, your entrails being ripped apart by a very murder crazed fox….messy business….absolutely zero pleasure involved."

Judy snorted and without another word she struggled to rip Nick's shorts off his body and chuck them over her head…

"Carrots! Wait!" Nick yelped as she threw her own clothes away. "Carrots...I don't want..."

Judy smiled back at him as she pointed to her own watch. "Did I say we were going to do anything? It's midnight….blankets, pillows and a naked fox to cuddle against. My life can't be more perfect."

Nick allowed Judy to prod him into a four legged fox laying position with her snuggling into his stomach and puffing him and his tail up like pillows. "What say you and I make this "our" every week tradition? Dos that sound good to you?"

Nick smiled back. "That?…...That sounds sweet to me Carrots." He said as he kissed her lovingly on her cheek…

"Good night Judy." Nick said as he snuggled his head into her breasts.

"Good night Nick." Judy replied as she kissed him tenderly.

 **The End**


End file.
